We usually have several "fieldtrips" a month. Sometimes these are with one of our groups and if not two, the kids and I have our own (a neverending list of places we want to go). In addition, each week is interspersed with unexpected errands/trips, house projects, dance meetings, baseball games, etc. It gets a bit crazy and there are never enough hours in the day but we always have fun.
The kids, and I, have so many wonderful friends through our homeschool groups that they are a vital part of our week.
***A quick and silly disclaimer.***I’m pretty sure that everyone knows about my “Too each their own.” philosophy on life but just wanted to reiterate it. This is absolutely core to my whole parenting style. I am trying so hard to instill the understanding that what works for one family or person might not be right for the next. We have family and friends from just about every situation imaginable…different political views, different religions, different ethinicities, different backgrounds, different parenting styles, different schooling choices...these, by the way, include public schooled, Montessori, private, Waldorf, very scheduled homeschool, relaxed homeschoolers, life learners and radical unschoolers. We all have to find what works best for us and our families. I absolutely DO NOT believe that the way we do things is the “right way”. There is no such thing as a right way. I don’t want anyone saying what we do is right or wrong so therefore, I never want my children or I to say that what someone else does is right or wrong either. We only have one shot at this life and the chance to be a parent…we all have to find what works for us (life would be pretty boring if we were all the same anyway).
I wasn't quite sure what to say About Us since we have so many interests that it was hard to sum up an "About Us". Something that is very core to our family is our decision to homeschool or kids, so........I decided that I would sum up many of the questions I get asked on a regular basis regarding our decision to homeschool our kidos. :-)
What a crazy schedule! What about "school"?I could go on for hours about this but I'll try to keep it quick. After the disaster of Kindergarten (that's a whole other blog), we began several years ago with a structured curriculum. I got us all set up and began to basically duplicate school at home. It never felt right and, for us, it failed miserably and wasn't what we had envisioned at all. Tripp was happy that he wasn't in school but it was rough on his spirit and our relationship. I made a decision to take some time "off" of our structured schedule and see what happened. I made sure to always have many interesting books, games, magazines, etc. around and just give him some space to decompress and myself some time to really do some soul-searching and watch my child. I was shocked!! He learned more on his own during this time than I could have ever "taught" him. I know it sounds corny but truly, each day was like a treasure chest for he and I to open together. We could go from volcanoes to cobras to measurements to presidents to motors...and this was all in a few days. It was amazing!! He came alive. He was learning "for real". I was so surprised at how much he retained just from hearing things. I did a few more "experiments" and discovered that he is truly an auditory learner. Best of all, we were all so happy and less stressed.
After a bit of tweaking and experimentation, we have settled into a way of life that suits us well. The only thing I formally ask of him each day is to do a little writing/grammar/spelling, some math and some reading…the rest is left to interests. We cover so many things that would be classified as science, geography, history, social studies, etc. I constantly surround them with tons of books, games, computer software, websites, maps, microscopes, manipulatives, art supplies, "educational" tv (we don't watch much but when we do it's almost all Discovery, PBS and National Geographic channels) and information. We use several different magazines as our springboards. Our current favorites are National Geographic Kids, Ranger Rick, Ladybug, Highlights, Weekly Reader and Sesame Street Magazine. We usually only make it through a few pages each day before they are looking at our bookshelf for books they know we have on a subject, we're online looking things up or headed to the library for more info. With every few pages we cover every subject imaginable!! They lead the way and I have found that things sink in much more solidly with this approach. I've changed my "title" from Teacher to Exposure Coach. I feel as though my role is to expose them to as much as possible and then help them explore their passions. So....when people ask what sort of homeschoolers we are, I say we are Relaxed Homeschoolers.
What about socialization?This question always makes me laugh. My guys all have more true friends than most kids. Just because you are in a classroom with 15-25 other kids doesn’t make them all your friends. The contrary is usually true. You have a the one or two that you would call your friends, the portion you would rather not know, the ones you have to put up with and the ones that you’re trying to protect yourself against. Of course, this doesn’t allow time for REAL play and socialization. This is a whole other blog as well but I am so sad to see how little time kids actually get to be kids these days.
This question always then leads into the question of preparing them for the “real world”. Again, I just have to chuckle. Since when is putting all of the same age children into a box for 7-8 hours a day and expecting them to be quiet, listen and soak up facts the real world?!?!?! Have you ever had a job or been in a situation where you were with all of the same age, same intellect and all of the exact same set of skills needed? I don't know any organizations or businesses that would survive that way. I have to say that I am extremely proud of the fact that my guys know how to communicate and interact with every age from babies to teens to adults. Our playgroups start with babies and go all the way to adult since most of us consider ourselves part of their playgroup. My kids are very close with several kids from every age group and many of MY friends. I also consider myself friends with many of the children in our groups. Anyway, between all of our playgroups and activities they have plenty of friends and get to be kids in every way imaginable. The best part is that most of the other parents are just as excited to see their kids get muddy, messy and actually be kids as I am.
Don't they need a break from each other?One of the greatest things about this lifestyle is that they get to be together yet still explore their own passions and have their own friends. When we get together with our groups, they all go their own way to play with their own friends and don't see a lot of each other. I am, however, very touched by how often they check on each other. At least once or twice during the day, Avi goes to find Tripp, Tripp keeps an eye on Avi and they both check in a lot to see what Torin is doing. They are so intertwined with each other's lives that they have genuine concern and feel responsible for each other. As soon as they are back in the car, they are going ninety miles an hour telling each other about their adventures of the day. It's a beautiful thing that I would never want to see separated. They get plenty of "their own time" between sleepovers with friends, their different activities, grandparents and playgroups.
Don't you need a break from the kids?Not a lot. I go to several evenings a month for a “Mom’s Night Out” to visit with friends.
For all my friends and I, the nicest thing about these times is being able to complete a sentence and a thought. LOL!! Every so often I’ll ask the grandparents or a friend to watch the kidos for a little bit so Rick and I can have a date night or so I can complete a project or go to an appointment. Other than that, once again, we only have one shot at being a parent and they grow far too fast so I try to savor every minute with them. Besides, I’ve always tried to raise kids that other kids and adults like to be around. Having a tightknit family and support groups helps with that so much, and, well, what can I say….I know I’m bias but I think they’re pretty awesome!!
Our values are simple:Love, responsibility and respect. We try to always treat them respectfully and expect the same in return. I do not want them to grow up with a robot mentality of obedience. Actually, I’m hoping for just the opposite. I guess the best way to explain this quickly is that I tell them often that my job is to take care of them. This includes their body, spirit, heart and mind. I always tell them that I’m not asking them to do something just because. I almost always explain to them why I’m making a certain decision. I very rarely use the “because I said so” saying (I’m still a mom so I reserve the right for that one every now and then – LOL!). My kids trust me to take care of them so it’s rare that they have a reason to protest. When they do, I’m more than happy to listen to their reasons. Once again, I’m trying to raise free-thinkers and not followers so they are just as entitled to their opinions and feelings as adults. I just keep trying to earn their trust by making decisions that they understand and give them a fun yet responsible childhood.
So, in a nutshell, I guess that my ultimate philosophy for “school” is that learning is a lifelong process and that being filled with certain facts at a certain age isn't necessary.
This is a response I posted just a few weeks ago to someone on one of my homeschool lists to a mom that was looking for some "new to homeschooling" advice. I was just trying to offer some comfort to what can, in the beginning, be a stressful time. I didn't think a lot of it but received a ton of responses in thanks and support. I love this community!!
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Hi there!! Like Beth said, most of us are "somewhere in the middle". Please don't stress out about a curriculum!! Just take it easy for the rest of the year and you will settle into what works for you guys. I've changed what I'm doing for several years now and finally feel like we've settled on what's right for our family. I would consider us very relaxed homeschoolers. The only thing I "require" is that we do a little writing, reading and math. They are young though and still learning the basics. I don't push them but instead, we do these things together which my kids enjoy so much. You're already through that since they are older and already know how to read, write and math basics...the rest is so fun!!!
Long ago I changed my "title" to Exposure Coach. I don't consider myself a teacher since most of the time I'm learning new things right along with them. I just try to expose them to as much as possible through books, magazines, trips, groups, crafts, the arts, etc. and then see what interests them. When something clicks, I allow them the time and means to explore that topic more. It works and they DO learn so much more this way!!! We all glaze over if someone is forcing us to learn something we're not interested in. That's how the world really works...we'll listen to a little bit but if it's not where our passions lie, then we move on. Kids are no different.
You just have to put your blinders on to all the negative comments and know that what you are doing is right for your family otherwise you wouldn't feel so strongly about it!! They're YOUR kids and it's YOUR job to turn out happy and giving humans into the world...NOT theirs. The main comment I always get is about them getting into college and getting a "good" job. These are loaded questions that I could go on and on about for days but I just tell them that I truly believe that we have been far too conditioned into everything being a competition. Life is not a competition. If they chose to pursue a career that involves a college degree, they will have the motivation to get it. I can’t count how many home/unschoolers I’ve seen do this very thing (often times taking college courses when they are high school age). I'm not interested in turning out the next generation of "workers". I'm interested in turning out the next generation of caring and passionate thinkers. It's far more important to me to know that I've sent people out into the world that are going to give something back and not just mindlessly consume (which yes, then you do need a "good" job to support that lifestyle).
Good luck and be confident that what you are choosing to do is a great choice. Kids learn, adults learn, we're all human and just try to stop us from learning!!!
:-) Rachel
Tripp (8), Avi (5), Torin (2)
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Here are a few of my favorite sayings:"Kids want to learn. They just do. Get the hell out of the way, and leave an interesting trail behind you."
"Childhood is not a preparation for life, it IS life."
"We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today." ~Stacia Tauscher
"I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn." ~Albert Einstein
"The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school." - George Bernard Shaw
"I believe children are born wise and in general conditioned to be stupid. " Barb Lundgren
"You can know the name of a bird in all the languages of the world, but when you're finished, you'll know absolutely nothing whatever about the bird... So let's look at the bird and see what it's doing -- that's what counts. I learned very early the difference between knowing the name of something and knowing something." ~ Richard Feynman
It may be a personality thing but it's reinforced in this society that finishing is good and quitting is bad. It's a much more useful life skill to learn to assess when something is taking more from us than it's giving back. —Joyce Fetteroll
It isn't about being anti-school, it is about being pro-learning in all its guises. —Schuyler Waynforth
We're not their sculptors, we are their foundations. —Jacki Knouse
"Both class and race survive education, and neither should. What is education then? If it doesn't help a human being to recognize that humanity is humanity, what is it for? So you can make a bigger salary than other people?~ Beah Richards
"If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in." Rachel Carson
"...since we can't know what knowledge will be most needed in the future, it is senseless to try to teach it in advance. Instead, we should try to turn out people who love learning so much and learn so well that they will be able to learn whatever needs to be learned.'' ~ John Holt
There is a Sesame Street book called Grover and the Everything in the Whole Wide World Museum. There is a "things under the sea" room and "things in the sky" room, but still each room is just a room in a museum, no windows, everything out of context. Then he opens a big door marked "everything else in the whole wide world" and goes out into the sunshine. There is unschooling.
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